Not-So-Creepy Mansion | Late Sunday Morning

[robinonadderall]

Right, so, Stiles' Thanksgiving had sucked what with getting his dad fired and Scott almost dying and them not being any closer to solving the whole kanima thing. He needed to relieve some stress and doing it the usual way wasn't cutting it. Which would be why he was at Derek's with a small jar filled with mountain ash. Deaton had been proud to hear of what Stiles accomplished and gave some more of it just in case. He was dying to see if the other night was just a fluke or if he really did gain a new skill.

Unlike the last time he did this, Stiles wasn't all that nervous about the small amount of mountain ash he had. In fact he purposely took less than was needed. He sprinkled some of it for a couple feet before closing his eyes and picturing a completed ring of ash around the mansion. Sure enough when he opened his eyes back up again the circle was complete. Oh yeah, he was totally magic.

He was in no rush to see if it worked, so he let himself in the house and wandered into the kitchen because he hadn't had anything to eat yet today. He ended up finding the motherload of Thanksgiving leftovers and quickly took to making himself a turkey sandwich and...finishing off the pie.

Whoops.

[For the werewolf who has no chest hair! And the stripper with no chest hair, if he wants!]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

"What do you think you're doing." That pie was for breakfast, Stiles! Breakfast pie!

[robinonadderall]

"Eating." He ate rather obnoxiously, it was kind of hard to miss.

[justlurkinghere]

It was like he was assaulting the food with his mouth. Stiles, please never attempt to seduce anyone over dinner. It would only end in tears.

And someone puking.

Derek sighed, rolling his eyes. "Get out."

[robinonadderall]

"No." Annoying Derek until he got pissed enough to chase him outside probably wasn't the brightest idea Stiles had ever come up with but it was all he got. He didn't have the patience to wait until he went out on his own.

"Was this your food or Mike's?"

[justlurkinghere]

Considering Derek's lack of a social life, he might not leave until Wednesday anyway.

Other than to let Puppy Joe run free.

"It's mine. So stop it." He baked that pie in a little werewolf oven. The kind you mocked!

[robinonadderall]

"Don't think I will," he said, taking another obnoxious bite of pie. Mmm, delicious pie.

[justlurkinghere]

Well, you really should have expected this to happen, Stiles.

Derek rounded on him, eyebrows all up in a tizzy of annoyance and inability to use his words without resorting to physical violence as he grabbed Stiles by the back of the collar and twisted the fabric. "Is that so."

[robinonadderall]

"Yep, that's so," Stiles said. "Come on, Derek, we both know you're not gonna do anything. You're all bark and no bite."

"But give me a five second head start anyway?" He wasn't very athletic but he was pretty sure he could make it out the door in five seconds. Pretty sure.

[justlurkinghere]

HEY. DON'T CALL HIM OUT ON HIS INABILITY TO ACTUALLY MURDER PEOPLE. IT MAKES HIM SELF CONSCIOUS.

"...what?"

[robinonadderall]

"What do you mean what?" he asked. "You mean me being completely aware that your threats mean nothing? I could probably eat all of your leftovers and you wouldn't do anything."

"...actually I might do that 'cause this stuff is really good."

[justlurkinghere]

He was going to be so much happier when he met a Stiles who actually did think he'd murder everyone. Because this wasn't cool.

"Shut up and get out," he said with a shove.

[robinonadderall]

Hey, this Stiles was a gift, Derek! A gift!

Stiles, of course, didn't go anywhere beyond the few feet he was shoved. "I think I'm gonna stay here. Get some homework done, maybe rifle through your stuff if I get bored."

[justlurkinghere]

Liiiiiies.

"Stiles. Go," Derek ground out, taking a step after him. In case that would get the kid moving.

[newroutines]

It said a lot about Mike's ability to adapt to things that when he wandered into his kitchen on this fine Sunday morning (pulling a tank top on over his hairless chest as he was coming in), he barely looked surprised to find Stiles there.

"... Oh, hey."

[robinonadderall]

Aw, why did you put on a shirt, Mike? Why?

"Hey, Mike," Stiles said casually, like he broke into people's houses all the time. Which he did. "How was your Thanksgiving?"

[newroutines]

"Uneventful. Just fixed some stuff around the house." He was still eyeing Stiles a little bit, it should be noted. "Uh, were you supposed to be here this morning?"

[robinonadderall]

Stiles nodded. "Oh yeah, me and Derek are conducting an experiment."

Derek just didn't realize he was a lab rat.

[newroutines]

"An experiment."

This was Mike's dubious voice.

"It's way too early on a Sunday morning for that."

[robinonadderall]

"It's never too early for science!" Stiles insisted. "My gym teacher would be so proud of me for saying that."

[newroutines]

"Now you're just not making any sense." Mike should have been glad to not understand that reference, though. He was better off not knowing GLaDOS.

He went to make himself a sandwich, since that was what he'd come into the kitchen for and everything. "It's too early for science. Do I even want to know what this experiment is about?"

[robinonadderall]

"Werewolf stuff," Stiles said with a shrug. "Werewolf stuff that will piss off werewolves."

[newroutines]

Riiiight.

"And that's smart because...?"

[robinonadderall]

"Because werewolves are jerks in general and they deserve to be messed with," Stiles said. "Don't let Derek's niceness fool you."

[newroutines]

"This better not come bite me in the ass somehow, you know that, right?" Mike checked. "I'm the one who has to live with him, and he's grumpy as fuck at the best of times."

[robinonadderall]

"Why would it bite you in the ass?" Stiles asked. "If anything Derek will be grateful that you're his roommate and I'm only his fake boyfriend."