Back To Normal Mansion | Monday Morning

[robinonadderall]

Waking up to somebody spooning him was a rare, if not wholly unfamiliar, feeling for Stiles. He turned his head enough to make sure that it was Derek doing the spooning before relaxing again and facing forward. Then he took a second to pull a pillow out from underneath his shirt.

Which just made him start to laugh. Because seriously. This island.

[For Derek!]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm not making you breakfast." Oh, you sulky little girl, Derek.

[robinonadderall]

"Aw, don't be like that," Stiles said, rolling over to hit Derek with the pregnancy pillow. "You weren't the one that was pregnant all weekend."

[justlurkinghere]

"That was a pillow," Derek grumbled, both happy and a tiny, disturbing bit disappointed that clothing was all still on. But he was ignoring that bit. "And I have never used the term 'cub' to describe a baby in my life."

[robinonadderall]

Stiles laughed again. "Cubs!"

That would never not be hilarious.

[justlurkinghere]

"I will smother you with that pillow," Derek shot back. Not at all getting warm fuzzies at Stiles laughing.

[robinonadderall]

"Oh, come on, Derek. At least you didn't wake up handcuffed to a bed this time." Though somebody should remind Stiles of that in a few months because that wasn't a half-bad idea.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek rolled his eyes, turning away because now that whole situation took on new implications that were deeply embarrassing.

And illegal in the state of California.

"At least we didn't have a werewolf wedding."

[robinonadderall]

"Pretty sure we were already married. I didn't seem like the type who would have a child out of wedlock." Stiles realized that he was breaking one of the rules by being in Derek's bed right now and he seemed to be making him a little uncomfortable, so Stiles cleared his throat and started to pull himself out of the bed.

As he kicked off the sheets he guessed that they'd most likely needed to be washed thoroughly. Or burned.

[justlurkinghere]

Possibly rolled in once Derek was alone. "I also apparently killed that friend of yours."

Lydia. Her name was Lydia and he knew it.

[robinonadderall]

"Lydia." He knew that you knew her name, Derek. "Which might've been the most ridiculous thing of all 'cause she'd kick your ass for even thinking about it."

[justlurkinghere]

"I was also the head of a dangerous criminal syndicate. So," Derek replied dryly, watching Stiles out of the corner of his eye like a complete creep. "I think Mike might have been in a coma somewhere in the house."

[robinonadderall]

"He got off lucky then," Stiles said. "I'm gonna, um, head downstairs since I shouldn't be up here anyway."

Not that he hadn't enjoyed it. He was just afraid of enjoying it too much.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek nodded. Because it was indeed true that Stiles should not be in the room.

But strange weekends made it keep happening nonetheless!

"That's. Yeah."

Look at those mad linguist skills. Like they were both flustered teens here.

[robinonadderall]

"Okay." Stiles turned and headed out of the room, presumably going downstairs to flop on his (new) usual spot in the armchair.

Halfway downstairs he could probably be heard mumbling to himself, "I have had more sex than any other virgin on the planet."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek took a deep breath at that, following after him. "It doesn't count until--" he made a vague hand gesture he probably picked up from his time around Stiles. "It's really not as important as you think anyway."

[robinonadderall]

"If it's not important then why did you bother to correct me on whether or not it counted?" he asked.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek made a face at that. Because screw you, honest questions!

"I want to be me for it," he muttered, quickly making a break to start some coffee.

[robinonadderall]

"Hey," Stiles said, following after Derek until he was close enough to grab a handful of shirt. "I want to be me for it too. You're right, it doesn't count before then."

[justlurkinghere]

"Good."

Thank god they clearly had that settled. Nevermind that it was implicitly saying he wanted to have sex. That realization would come later.

"Should you have water? Safer for the baby than coffee."

And now his sense of humor was back!

[robinonadderall]

"Shut up," Stiles said, giving Derek a shove. "Make me coffee and I'll be nice and take the dog out for you while you're doing it."

Ugh so domestic.

[justlurkinghere]

"You were going to do that anyway."

So painfully domestic, yes. They skipped all the fun parts straight into decades of marriage.

[robinonadderall]

"Don't underestimate my ability to be lazy," Stiles said. "But I'll be right back 'cause I'm nice."

So very nice. And also because he felt bad for Puppy Joe probably being ignored all weekend because of the so-called cubs.

[justlurkinghere]

And, of course, that was the alone time Derek needed to replay their conversation in his head. And drop a coffee mug on the floor. "God damnit."

[robinonadderall]

Stiles never again wanted to hear any complaints about constantly carrying Puppy Joe because Stiles totally protected his little paws from coffee mug bits when he got back. "What happened?"

[justlurkinghere]

"Nothing," Derek said quickly, sweeping up ceramic shards. "Put shoes on."

Oh god, the domestic thing was only getting worse.