A Hotel by UC Irvine | Monday Evening

[robinonadderall]

It was time for another campus visit trip, this time to a state that didn't completely suck. The tour wasn't actually until tomorrow so that left Stiles with a whole evening to watch TV and take advantage of Derek's credit card by ordering a ton of room service.

What? At least he was sharing.

"Ugh. I got pepperoni on the bedspread."

[For the werewolf sugar daddy]

Comments

[robinonadderall]

Stiles was just hoping that Derek just felt like stretching out and wasn't fleeing to his own bed because Stiles was now a freak of nature thanks to his heart being tied to a tree.

"Maryland too."

[justlurkinghere]

Who here was a werewolf whose very touch killed everyone he could possibly begin to care about? C'mon now.

"It's close to Fandom," Derek pointed out.

[robinonadderall]

"That's not a bad thing," Stiles said, picking at some leftover cheese in the box and wondering if it wasn't too late to order a sundae. "Can I ask you something? Two things."

[justlurkinghere]

How much food did you need?!

"What?" Oh, you be suspicious, Derek.

[robinonadderall]

He needed dessert!

"When I got back to Fandom after my last trip home I pretty much gave you permission to ask about almost anything I had been hiding from you before," he said. "And you haven't asked anything. I was wondering why."

[justlurkinghere]

Because he didn't want a fight that ended in angry flouncing and leaving him all alone like the sad little man he was. One day he'd get the therapy he needed so bad, one day...

"What am I supposed to ask?"

[robinonadderall]

Stiles shrugged. "I don't know. You seemed to want to know a lot before."

[justlurkinghere]

Yeah, but ~feelings~ happened.

Derek gritted his teeth, looking away. "And we had fights because of it."

Ugh, emotional honesty.

[robinonadderall]

"I'd rather be honest with you and have a fight over it than to hide stuff and pretend everything's fine." Which was the direct opposite of how he felt a few months ago. "Besides, we always end up making up anyway."

[justlurkinghere]

Did you not see the magical wings on the word feelings? Because they were important. Look at those wings! Look at 'em!

"What's the other question?"

[robinonadderall]

"Oh I wanted to know if you'd order me ice cream."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek rolled his eyes, but his shoulders were slightly less tense. "Just order it."

They already thought you were an underage rentboy, Stiles.

[robinonadderall]

Hey, they could have thought Derek was Stiles' older brother!

"If I order it they're gonna think I'm a hog 'cause I ordered the pizza," he said, already reaching for the phone. "I'm gonna say it's for you."

[justlurkinghere]

NOT HELPING THE RENTBOY THING, STILES.

Derek sighed and gave up. Because he was not going to explain how he could hear the gossip, okay? He just wasn't.

"Why did you hug me that one time?" Yeah, that's what he was starting with. Because 'why can't I talk to English teachers' seemed less weird than hugging.

[robinonadderall]

Stiles used the time he had ordering a banana split (because he needed more objects to assault orally, clearly) to put together an answer in his head. He decided the mostly straightforward approach would be best. "The other you had lost someone important to them thanks to the alpha pack and he and I aren't exactly the type of friends that hugged so I hugged you instead."

Because you were the type of friend he hugged, Derek. Isn't that nice?

[justlurkinghere]

That was so nice! And distressing. Mostly the latter, all things considered.

And this right here is why Derek avoided emotional attachments! This. Right here. "Alright," he said quietly, taking that time to aimlessly pick at the pamphlet. He was missing a very important article on Greek life on campus.

[robinonadderall]

"His name was Boyd and he was in the other you's pack. Your beta, actually," Stiles continued. "The alpha pack was trying to kill all of you off one by one."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek inhaled sharply, staring down at the glossy pictures in a panic. "I had a pack," he croaked.

And he got it killed all over again.

[robinonadderall]

"You used to," Stiles said, finding himself unable to look at Derek now. "Erica, Isaac and Boyd. Erica and Boyd are dead; Isaac moved over to Scott's pack once he became an alpha. That's why he wasn't too fond of you at first when you guys met in Fandom."

This was all terrible. But still, Stiles felt like it was better than lying.

"Erica and Boyd weren't your fault though. I think Isaac knows that now."

[justlurkinghere]

And Derek just stared down at the overly happy models that were photoshopped onto the school campus. At least one person survived him. Even if they hated him.

[robinonadderall]

"You weren't a bad alpha. You just weren't ready for alpha packs and kanimas," Stiles said, getting up from the bed once he heard a knock at the door that must have been room service. "You did do some good things. Giving Isaac the bite was the best thing you could do for him."

[justlurkinghere]

Which was a very nice sentiment from someone with a pack who didn't understand how it felt to lose them all over again. Laura and him had been each other's bandages over severed limbs. Her death had left him raw and bleeding.

And the future him was packless again from desertion and death.

It was probably best that Jack didn't have the ability to form the pack bonds he was used to and Jackson didn't have the inclination. It was better to not put anyone else in danger. To protect what was left of himself.

Derek smoothed out the pages, forcing himself to look indifferent while Stiles was busy.

[robinonadderall]

Stiles took when ended up being a huge bowl of ice cream from the nice hotel employee who hopefully didn't think he was a rent boy before shutting the door again and wandering back towards the beds. After a moment's thought he sat himself down next to Derek since he could see he was going down a guilt spiral.

"They gave us two spoons." Yes, that was why he was sitting next to you. Clearly.

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm not hungry."

Unless the ice cream was made out of despair. Was it made out of despair?

[robinonadderall]

"Okay." Stiles didn't move from where he was though. "Sorry."