Room 329 | Tuesday Afternoon

[robinonadderall]

Stiles was in the middle of what very might well be the greatest nap of all time when he was woken up by his phone blasting "Hungry Like the Wolf" and suddenly he decided Scott McCall was the worst person ever. To ever exist. Worse than a Kardashian even.

"Mmmph what is it?" Stiles said blearily after he answered. "Also I hate you."



"Dude, you're gonna want to hear this," Scott said. Judging from the background chatter, Scott was calling him from school. "Isaac's back in school, he's off the hook."

"What?" Stiles asked. His dad totally failed for not bringing his attention to this! "How did that happen?"

"I'm not sure, but that means the police are gonna be back on the kanima's trail," Scott said. "Did you find anything on it?"

"Yeah, hold on." Stiles leaned up and grabbed the purple "Freaky Shit I Have To Deal With" notebook and opened it up. "From what I've gathered a kanima is a werejaguar from South America that goes after murderers. Also I spoke to someone who could translate the beastiary--apparently the kanima is a weapon of vengeance that seeks a master."

"That thing was not a jaguar."

"And I'm not exactly a murderer," Stiles said.

"Yeah, but you did see it kill somebody, which is probably why it tried to kill you and is still trying to kill you and probably won't stop until you're dead," Scott said. "What--hold on a second, Jackson's being an ass--"

Stiles sighed. "You know, sometimes I really question this 'friendship'."

"Hey Stiles, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone," Scott said. "You're gonna want to hear this."

That earned another sigh. "What is it, Jackson?"

"You two asswipes tell me," Jackson said. "Last night I got kidnapped and taken to Derek Hale's creepy train car, held down by Erica and Isaac and then forced to choke down this clear slimy stuff to make sure I'm not a kanima! Whatever the fuck that is!"

Stiles blinked. "Every time I think Derek can't get any creepier he somehow manages to outdo himself."

"I was paralyzed from the neck down!" Jackson hissed. "Do you know what that's like?"

"I'm familiar with the sensation," Stiles said. "Derek said that the kanima might be like a snake--like it can't be poisoned by its own venom."

Why Stiles decided to trust Derek when it came to facts...the man couldn't even work the internet. And, oh right, Stiles hated every Derek ever right now so he should probably stop using him as a point of reference.

"Wait," Scott said. "Why would Derek test Jackson? Why would he think it was you?"

"How should I know?" Jackson asked.

"Wait. Do they think it was Lydia?" Stiles asked.

"They did mention her name," Jackson said. "And something about chemistry."

"They could be onto something," Scott said. "How do we know it's not her?"

"Because I looked into the eyes of that thing, okay? And what I saw was pure evil," Stiles said. "When I look into Lydia's eyes I only see 50% evil. Alright, maybe 60. No more than 40 on a good day."

"Stiles, that's not a very good argument," Scott said. Stiles could hear the apology in his voice.

"I'm aware of that but, I swear, it's not her," Stiles said. "It can't be, alright? Lydia's fine."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone and Stiles just knew that wasn't a good thing.

"What aren't you guys telling me?"

"Lydia..." Jackson sighed. "Lydia kind of had a freakout in class today."

"A freakout?" Stiles repeated. "Scott, like at the ice rink?"

"Yeah," Scott said. "She started screaming and crying in the middle of class and was writing words on the chalkboard in some kind of weird language."

"Okay, that's weird," Stiles said. "But she's still not the kanima!"

"Stiles, calm down," Scott said. "Derek's not going to kill her without proof. He'll test her like he did with Jackson, we just gotta find out when and where."

Stiles chewed on his bottom lip. "I'm gonna come home. Maybe I can try to convince Derek it isn't her."

"Well you guys are engaged so..."

"Scott!" Stiles yelled. "Not in front of Jackson!"

"Chill out, he walked away as soon as the conversation stopped being about him," Scott said. "So werewolf marriage, huh? Should I wear a suit or me being wolfed out enough? Do I get to be best man?"

"Shut up, Scott."

"Or I guess I'd be maid of honor 'cause Derek's totally the dude in this relationship."

"I'm hanging up now."



[Dialogue slapped together from Teen Wolf 2x05 "Venomous". Mostly establishy unless you would like to put up with my work related SP]

Comments

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

Cade came into the room as Stiles hung up his phone. "Hey," he said, flopping onto his bed. "Oh, meant to ask: do you want me to bring you dead animals too?"

Because Cade was a dick.

[robinonadderall]

"Oh my god," Stiles groaned. "No, no dead animals ever. Unless it's cooked dead animal. In cheeseburger form."

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"I'm not bringing you cheeseburgers," Cade declared. He tilted his head. "Get in a fight with a sarlaac?" he asked, pointing to the bruises on Stiles' neck. "A baby one?"

[robinonadderall]

Stiles' hand immediately went to cover his neck. "What the hell is a sarlaac?"

Totally subtle attempt at distraction. Totally subtle.

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"Thing with big suckers on its tentacles," Cade said. "It also eats people."

[robinonadderall]

"Yeah, okay, I definitely did not encounter one of those," Stiles said. "I'm not into tentacle stuff."

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"You were into something," Cade said with a sly smile.

[robinonadderall]

"I most certainly was not! And no one was into me either." Just so we got all the dirty innuendos out. "I just went temporarily insane this weekend, much like everyone else."

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"I didn't end up with bruises on my neck," Cade said smugly.

[robinonadderall]

"Lucky you." Yes, this would be one of the few instances where Stiles would bemoan the fact that someone actually wanted to touch him. "What kind of trauma did you end up with?"

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"Nothing too exciting," Cade said. "Tried to steal a diamond mine, told some alum that I was a long-lost Skywalker..."

[robinonadderall]

"Stealing a diamond mine sounds like something you'd do without the island's influence," he said. "Which is unfair, some people went through some real trauma, you jerk."

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"Not my fault you have boring weekends," Cade replied with a grin.

[robinonadderall]

"I wish I had boring weekends," he said. "Speaking of which, I'm heading back to California for a day or so. The no masturbating near my stuff rule is still in effect."

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"What if someone else does?"

Gross, Cade.

[robinonadderall]

"Are you regularly inviting people in here to masturbate?" Stiles asked. "Please lie if the answer is yes."

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

Cade paused just long enough to be a dick, then said, "Not yet, anyway."