robinonadderall | Stripper Pole Suite

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Stripper Pole Suite | Sunday Night

It was time for Operation: Get Into Derek's Pants. Attempt #6. Surely this had to go better than the time he purposely got them trapped at the top of a ferris wheel.

Okay, maybe he was a bad werewolf fiance for trying to sleep with Derek when he was firm on waiting until marriage but, dammit, Stiles was a teenage bride and he was a virgin and Derek looked really good with his shirt off. It wasn't fair that he wouldn't put out! Not to mention that Eric also looked really good with his shirt off and he sparkled and Stiles really needed to confirm this was what he wanted. Because everyone knew wolves mated for life so there would be no going back after they were werewolf married. So yeah, this was totally for the sake of their marriage, not because Stiles was a horny virgin.

Really.

He was waiting on the bed of the hotel room, making sure he had everything he needed tucked away in the bedside table. He had told Derek that he rented the room so they could cuddle and that hadn't been a lie. There'd be cuddling. After the hot, sweaty sex.

[For the future werewolf husband and up early 'cause I gotta go to work later]

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"No one! I've never been with anyone!" Which was what he was trying to fix right now, Derek. "I just went into town today, I can't help that people got their hands all over me."

People totally wanted his lanky 16-year-old body, Derek. He couldn't help he was irresistible.

"You're mine," Derek replied, shoving Stiles back against the bed in a fit of totally romantic and not at all concerning rage. He grabbed hold of that sexy flannel shirt the boy was always wearing. Because he couldn't show off that scrawny body without being mobbed by suitors. Then, he shoved his face into Stiles' neck for all the scent marking. Oh, and stubble burn. Because god forbid he shave before meeting his fiancé.

Stiles smiled, happy that his plan was going so well even if he was going to look like he had hives or something on his neck thanks to Derek's stubble. He shifted and accidentally-on-purpose hooked a leg around Derek's waist because it was the international sign of TAKE ME, DEREK.

"That vampire touched me too." Or Stiles had touched him, rather. And probably had his ab glitter on his hands still. Glitter never went away.

"I warned him!" Derek snarled, grabbing that leg and pressing fangs against Stiles' throat in a sexy warning. "I warned him that you belonged only to me!"

Yeah. Healthy message to give to the kids out there, guys. Real Fifty Shades of Grey style relationship style.

Well those books were selling pretty well so...

"Obviously your claim wasn't strong enough," Stiles said with an innocent shrug. "Maybe you should try harder."

Yeah, but with your junk instead of your teeth, Derek. Hint hint.

His junk was hard enough! Wait, that came out wrong. His fangs were long enough! No, that's not right either. Damn, this is hard.

And yes, that's what she said. Or he in this instance.

"You know I can't bite you!" Derek replied as he made sure to give Stiles enough hickeys to make it look like he lost a fight with a very aggressive vacuum cleaner hose.

Oh Derek you were gonna get such a lecture on hickeys tomorrow.

"I don't want you to bite me," Stiles said breathlessly, pulling on Derek's hair hard. You know, since we were getting into the 50 Shades thing. "You know what I want, Derek."

Was someone going to be tied up? Odds were on bondage showing up somewhere along the way if they were following the Fifty Shades of Grey method of S&M.

"Tell me," he demanded, nosing at the neckline of Stiles' shirt that would never come off. Well, maybe under a sheet where no one could see his body. Maybe. It might be pushing it.

Well he did bring those handcuffs with him for a reason. Mostly to keep Derek from running off before he devirginized him.

"Take me, Derek!" Stiles shouted, throwing his head back against the pillows. "I want to be yours. I can't wait for the full moon."

Somewhere some sexually frustrated housewives were swooning.

"I can't, Stiles!" Derek turned his head away to hide his manly tears. "You're just too innocent and pure! I can't corrupt that with my animal instincts! My wolf demands too much!"

"Please, Derek! I need you," he said, squirming around a bit in an attempt to remind Derek that there was a nubile teenage body underneath him. "I trust you, I know you won't bite me or claw me and I'm sure you'd tell me if you had freaky werewolf anatomy, right?"

Wait. Right? Because Stiles wasn't here for mpreg. They didn't even have the canon to smush thier parents names together to name the baby.

Sherifale? Hariff? Stilinhale? Yeah, those all sucked.

"Of... course... I would." Yes. "You know I love you, Stiles. But some things need to wait for marriage. You can't just seduce me into breaking my vows. My sacred vows. They were werewolf vows!"

Derek, if your werewolf sperm knocked him up...

"Screw your werewolf vows!" Stiles said, starting to get frustrated in more ways than one. "Derek, you aren't leaving this room until we at least get to third base!"

LOOK, IT WASN'T HIS FAULT. YOU CAN BLAME EDWARD CULLEN FOR SETTING THE STANDARD.

"What--" Derek, it was actually pretty simple to understand. Even a child could catch Stiles' meaning there. "You can't mean it!"

Did they have to shout everything? No. Did they want to? YES.

"Yes, I can!" Shouting just showed how much passion they had for each other! "Now take your shirt off and get on your back, we're gonna cuddle!"

Yes, they were just gonna cuddle. Really. Nothing nefarious was being planned. Why don't you put your hands up near the headboard, Derek, that would be comfortable...

"Stiles," Derek replied, a bit breathless all of the sudden. Because Stiles was taking control of the situation. Like, dare he say it, a werewolf.

Stiles looked confused for a moment, wondering what he had done to make Derek react like that. Once he was sure that, no, none of his creamy white skin had been exposed by accident he realized what it was. Well, hell, if that's what turned Derek on, Stiles could work with that.

Maybe someone on tumblr will write a lengthy meta post on why Derek liked to be dominated. It probably had to do with his family being burned alive.

"Do as I say, Derek, or I'll have to punish you," Stiles said before lifting his head up and kissing Derek. Because he didn't have enough stubble burn apparently.

Oh god, Monday morning would involve so, so much shouting about this.

"No, don't punish me!" Derek gasped. And growled. Grasped? Damn it, that's an actual word. Never mind that now! He took his shirt off to reveal those bangin' abs once again. The actor worked really hard on them and needed to show off. Because the next time will only be in some weird hallucination in which he's randomly damp.

Yeah. We're onto you, Jeff Davis.

Hey, at least Derek wouldn't be left with physical evidence of this, you hickey giving jerk.

"Good boy." Yeah, okay, he might deserve some physical assault for that one tomorrow. "Now lay down so we can cuddle."

Just cuddle. Really.

So much freakin' cuddling going on there. They would cuddle until the cows came home. Those damn truant cows...

"Yes... sir," Derek sighed, laying back on the bed. Because screw the characterization used yesterday! He just wanted to be owned!

Stiles smiled, happy that Derek was playing the part of the submissive mate well. He had the handcuffs tucked under a pillow, ready to use. He just hoped the writers forgot about Derek's werewolf strength this week.

"How much do you love me, Derek?" Stiles asked, running a hand up Derek's awesome werewolf abs. It was nice being able to do that and not come away covered in glitter.

Would that werewolf strength get in the way of some ratings boosting cuddling? If so, it's already been forgotten.

"With all my soul." And jealousy issues. All of those too.

"Mm, that's good," he said, giving Derek an oh so adorable eskimo kiss. Just ignore how he was putting your wrists up by the headboard, Derek. "You forgot to call me sir though."

Stiles was doing what with the what now?

"Yes... sir." Was that pause really necessary, Derek? Was it?

"Better." It was a good thing Stiles was enjoying this now because he might very well be killed for it later. "Now close your eyes. It'll make the cuddling more intense."

Was anybody dumb enough to fall for this? Really?

Apparently so. Derek was going to find a way to get drunk to repress all these memories. He might even ask that succubus for help there. But not the vampires.

Screw them.

"Are you sure?" he cooed. Yes. He cooed. No, we didn't know it was possible for him to do either, but there you go.

The cooing was absolutely precious. Stiles had to risk getting the rest of his skin sandpapered off by Derek's stubble because he just had to kiss his adorable face again. "Positive. Don't you trust me, Derek?"

But stubble burn was sexy! As was Derek trusting him even though he had all those trust issues. You know. From the chick who slept with him and then burned his family to death. Those issues.

"Of course I do. I don't trust anyone but you." He just wanted to punch everyone who was clearly trying to get in your pants, Stiles. He'd punch them all. And possibly claw them.

"I trust you too, Derek," Stiles said, pulling out the handcuffs. "That's why I know you're not gonna be mad about this."

There was a telltale click as Stiles secured Derek's wrists to the headboard. Just be grateful he hadn't twined the handcuffs with wolfsbane.

"Stiles." Ooo, bondage was so sexy! And not just because he had yet to be tortured!

Well Stiles certainly enjoyed the view. He climbed up on Derek's lap, straddling his hips. "I knew you'd like this, werewolf vows or not. You're mine, Derek. Say it."

Oooh, the tables have certainly turned! Next thing you know Stiles was going to be punching the UPS guy for saying he had a package for Derek.

HEY. THAT UPS GUY WAS CLEARLY MAKING EYES AT STILES. SURE IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LAZY EYE, BUT STILL. IT WAS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER.

"I'm yours," Derek replied obediently, eyes fluttering like he was a Disney princess. "My mate."

"I love you, Derek," Stiles said happily as he started unbuttoning his flannel away from the camera. "I hope you did some yoga or something today because you're in for the most intense game of Werewolf Monopoly of your life."

It was too bad nobody would get to see it because as soon as Stiles started shrugging his shirt off his shoulders the screen faded to black.

Hey, that's what happened when Scott McCall wasn't there to open a locker door in front of him.

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Stripper Pole Suite | Sunday Night

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