robinonadderall | The Formally Creepy Mansion

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The Formally Creepy Mansion | Thursday Evening

Stiles had not been having a good week, but he made a real effort to pull himself together by Thursday so he could work on giving Derek a good, drama-free birthday. He bought meat lovers pizza, how could it go wrong?

It could probably go wrong in a lot of ways, but Stiles wasn't trying to focus on that.

[For the birthday wolf! Up early 'cause I'm working the late shift, ugh]

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Stiles jerked his head up because Derek didn't need to finish that sentence in order for him to get the idea of it. It was a pretty huge thing to say, and Stiles stupidly hadn't thought Derek cared that much. And wasn't that something to think about? Maybe he'd finally be able to figure out what pretty much everybody else knew when it came to Derek's feelings.

Or maybe not. Because Stiles wasn't going to acknowledge Derek said that right now. Things were awkward enough.

"I'm sorry. I know that you're frustrated, and probably feeling helpless," he said. "I feel like that too. And scared."

It was the crippling sense of guilt that did it. Because, as we know, literally everything bad that happens in Beacon Hills is Derek's fault. He probably killed your mom, Stiles. While starting World War II. Maybe causing an oil spill too.

Damn it, Derek.

"You don't want to be alone. Trust me," he muttered, attempting to set the couch on fire with the power of his glare. Because that was Derek's thing. Soul crushing loneliness was his thing.

Ow, Stiles' heart. He was really failing at this birthday thing. "You're not alone either."

Just put on a movie about buddy cops sticking it to the man and they can pretend that this never happened. God, Stiles.

And, let's be honest, he was just waiting for that other shoe to drop with the people on this island. "Only if I stay here," he said, getting that mask back into place so that rebuilding those fun emotional walls could happen. "Talk to Kitty. Or Scott. You've got a pack now. They'll help you."

"What if I want you to help me?" he asked.

"Probably better options," Derek pointed out. Because the alternative was a sweeping 80's power ballad about love.

"Ignoring the fact that I don't want help at all--" Because he was convinced nothing would help. "--you are just as qualified to help than they are. More than Scott, even, considering he and Allison are going through the same thing I am. They can't even help themselves."

You hang out with people who have been saved by the power of friendship and ~love~ and don't believe this? C'mon now, Stiles.

Derek looked away at that. Because ouch for pointing out how much he couldn't help himself.

Stiles sighed. "You know, I really wanted you to have a good birthday."

Derek needed to stop sighing, but it was his thing. So he sighed again.

"You got me a cupcake." Which meant it was nicer than he had planned on it being without Laura around anymore. Even with the fight.

"And then we fought." Or maybe they were still fighting. Stiles didn't really feel like they solved anything.

They never solved anything, Stiles. Because they were bundles of issues, wrapped in insecurities, blanketed by fear of abandonment.

"It was a good cupcake."

"You should have a better birthday than that," he said. "I did get you a gift. It's in the kitchen, you can open it later."

Derek took his seat on the couch instead of investigating the gift. "I'm not sure what kind of birthdays you think I'm used to."

" I don't care what you're used to, I care about what you should have," Stiles said. "You've gotten used to a lot of things that you shouldn't have."

"And maybe I don't want you to get used to those kinds of things either," Derek said, lacking the anger from before.

Stiles frowned and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. You got him there, Hale. "That's different. I can't change that."

"Preetty sure mine is permanent too." Oh, forever alone werewolf.

"It is not." Hey, even the other Derek got to go on a road trip with his little sister that came out of nowhere!

Oh, inexplicably alive sister with no explanation ever.

"You have a way to make my family alive, I'm all ears."

Oh way to make Stiles feel worse, Derek. Good going. "That's not what I meant."

IT WAS A SKILL, OKAY?

"Then what did you mean?"

"I meant that you're not alone." This conversation was not going at all like Stiles had planned. Of course he had planned on sunshine and rainbows so he probably had his hopes set too high.

"It's different with werewolves." Plus all that guilt. All that guilt inside them jeans.

Derek shook his head. "Just pick a movie. Conversation over. Watch out for Kitty."

Yes, retreat when it gets too personal, Derek.

Edited 2013-11-08 16:01 (UTC)

Somehow that just made Stiles even more sad and angry at the same time, but he was tired of fighting tonight. It wouldn't do any good and he felt like both he and Derek weren't saying what they actually wanted to say.

So he decided not to fight back, instead walking over to grab the remote to put on some random action movie and then settling down in the armchair rather than on the couch with Derek like he usually would. There would be no "accidental" falling asleep on Derek tonight, no sir.

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justlurkinghere - 2013-11-08 16:28 (UTC) - Expand

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