robinonadderall | Not-So-Creepy Mansion | Specifically Derek's Room

Stiles had arrived back in Fandom early on Thursday, but it took him some time to get over to Derek's. He had been moving slow in the first place due to lack of sleep and the pounding in his head from the injury after the car accident. He didn't know if the nightmares were due to the recent trauma or the after effects of his sacrifice to the nemeton, but he did know they sucked. If they decided to stick around he was going to be in real trouble. The other issue he had was with Derek himself. He knew this wasn't going to go over well, but he had made the decision to tell the truth for once and he was going to go through with it.

Still, it was almost a relief to find Derek wasn't in his room when he got there. He sat down on the edge of Derek's bed and let Puppy Joe climb up in his lap. He scratched behind his ears absently, trying to ignore getting lost in the dark thoughts that always seem to be on the edge of his mind now. It was bad enough having to deal with them when he was asleep.

[For Derek!]

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"You can't just--" Derek cut himself off, turning to face him. Because a fight would be so much better than loss.

"I can't just what?" he asked. To be honest, he'd rather have a fight than try to work out the weird silent thing Derek was doing before.

You couldn't do a lot of things, but none of which Derek could get himself to say. Like, say, make Derek be your friend and then nearly die, leaving him alone. Which was preeeetty pathetic, lets be honest with ourselves.

"You died."

"I'm not dead now." Didn't necessarily make things better, but it was the only thing he could think of to say.

Which was met with a very intense stare. Derek, just blink or something. This was weird.

"I'm not burying anyone else," he finally said. Oh, Derek. Derek, baby. You bury everyone around you because your super power is being a werewolf cockroach.

And now Stiles felt like crap. "Nobody's asking you to."

"Yes, you are," Derek snapped. "You make me--"

You know. Care.

Stiles frowned, waiting only a moment for Derek to finish that sentence (he knew he wouldn't) before speaking. "I'm sorry that I had to put myself in danger and that it upset you, but I'm not going to be sorry for saving my dad's life. Not just him--Scott's mom and Allison's dad too. Where would we be without them?"

Scott would have had to go live with his douchebag dad and he and Allison would have been orphans.

Yeah, Derek couldn't form full sentences with emotions being involved. So get used to that.

Derek looked away instead of using his words, body tense.

Stiles hesitantly moved closer to Derek, but was a little too nervous to make a move to touch him yet. "I'm sorry, Derek. If there had been any other way I would have taken it. I'm seventeen, I'd really like to live to see twenty or eighty."

"You said there were consequences," Derek muttered, not acknowledging it. Because no way in hell.

"Yeah. The whole activating the nemeton thing and the whole darkness thing," he said. "Just this empty feeling in my chest and an ever-present feeling of dread. Nothing I can't live with."

If he said it that made it true, right? Right.

...seriously, Stiles.

Derek huffed, rolling his eyes so he didn't have to give you sad looks.

"Okay, it sucks and scares me more than I'd like to admit," he said. "But it can't be any worse than losing my dad."

"Go spend time with him." Yes, yes. Away from Derek 'everything I touch dies horribly' Hale.

"After seeing what Beacon Hills is capable of he'd rather I stay here," Stiles said with a shrug. "You trying to get rid of me?"

He said it jokingly but there was a hint of anxiety there.

Derek was probably quiet a little too long after that. He shrugged, acting way too casual to be casual.

Yeah casual, quiet Derek was freaking him out. "...you aren't trying to get rid of me, are you?"

"Would you be safer away from me?"

Because, as we know, literally everything can be blamed on Derek.

"Of course not, why would you say that?" Because Derek was a sad sack, Stiles.

The fucking saddest.

"Why do you think I keep having to bury people," Derek ground out. "You were a normal teenager before."

Also, there were no inappropriate feelings. So.

"Okay, dude, I was never a normal teenager, ask Jackson," Stiles said. "And this wasn't started because of you. This started because Scott got the bite. Even if you we're out of the picture I'd be dealing with this stuff."

Derek huffed again, shoulders shifting forward. "The dog missed you," he finally settled on.

Puppy Joe was actually taking advantage of their distraction to burrow under the blankets. It was too adorable for words and ruined the scene, but that dog did whatever he damn well pleased.

"Yeah, I can tell," Stiles said with a small smile. "He probably made you text me too."

Derek glared, just daring Stiles to question it.

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